I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
