so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
