I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
