I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch