you would pick up someone in the library
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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