Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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