The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
