DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
