i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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