Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
