look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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