Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
