Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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