I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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