what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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