i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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