The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
