I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just invented taco cereal.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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