That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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