if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
