Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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