I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Please, let me fuck your mom
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
