I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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