We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
