My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The uberlube is also flammable
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
