I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
