about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
