And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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