Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
