Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
its liver damage thursday
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
