You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
