the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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