i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
