i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
