I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
