lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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