Sponge bath it is.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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