my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
