didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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