She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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