I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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