I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
