If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
