Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
