In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
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Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
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Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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