Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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