He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
How does one acquire holy water?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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