the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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