Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
