i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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