Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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