What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
