We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize