You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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