Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
