there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
