This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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