is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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