I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I have fence marks all over my body
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
